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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Lovers- Friends- and all the rest

Seeing that I am 42 years old, it should not come as a huge freakin surprise to you that I have met (made friends with) many people/men in my lifetime.

Serisously people, I am a very social person. I am very outgoing. I don't have a hard time making friends. Never have, not even when I was little. Probably cause I alway have some kind of shit to say.

SO anyways, you get the point.

I make friends easy. Without even really trying.
Mr. Muscles is a new friend/man in my life. As I have said before, it really was a fluke/chance type of friendship (is that a sign? lol)

I know this bothers some of you. I know you were all upset about the brief thing I had with Mr. Big.

Just so you know in the 10 years of marriage I had never cheated on the sportsman.
Not that I have to explain anything to anyone.
I have done my part for 9 years. I went to chruch, tried everything possible to forget about my needs or wants.

I sacrificed my needs for the sportsman, my kids, my mother all so that they would be happy. I put them(my feelings) on a shelf, and tried to forget them.

I'm sure your wondering why 1) I even got married and 2) why I didnt just get divorced if I was so unhappy.

Well let me just sum it all up for you.
I was pressured into it cause it was the right thing at the right time, my mother would be greatly disappointed in me if i got divorced.

The "thing" between Mr. Big and I was not planned. It just happened. As I said before I have changed because of it, and in a good way.

So now that we have gone over all that I hope you have a better understanding before judging me and my decisions.

So back to Mr. Muscles.

We haven't know each other for very long, just long enough for me to learn a handful of things about him. (learning more each day)

I read what Tit for Tat wrote recently about the percent and stats about men in their 40's and their sex drive. Good thing Mr. Muscles is only 38. He has a way to go before his sex drive drops off. So thats a plus No? Yippie.

See I always look on the positive side of everything.
Soooooo Mr. Muscles is this very "interesting" guy.
I enjoy his company. He's smart. He works out and is fit like me.
Sometimes he makes me feel special.

Recently I met him out with some friends, and I had a really good time.
Not sure what I was expecting.
Being around him gave me goosebumps. Did I say he smells really good?
I am still learning things about him. We are friends after all. 
You know how I love to learn new things.

Should I stop here? I know I enjoy his company.
Some of you would say that I should just s t o p right now.
That I am going to get myself into trouble.

I haven't really thought too deep about this, mostly  "I just enjoy his company".

Where do I want it to go?
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, that is a good question.
I just don't know.
Actually hasn't really crossed my mind.
At least not on any serious note.

Seriously for real people, come on I am still married-remember.
I'm allowed to have friends.
So I think you all can chill on the "worry" part, ok.

I can say that I am sexually attacted to him. Ok extemely attracted to him.
But that doesn't mean anything. It means I am alive.

Do I think he is the typical man and wants to get into my pants?
Ummm possibly.

My good friend K.G. has warned me, that he might not be really interested in me as a friend or anything else other than a piece of ass. I think shes wrong. I think he likes me cause I am equally interesting. I could be wrong. I mean I have been in the past.

That would really hurt my feelings if I am just being used.
I mean honestly though,
whats he gonna use? My mind?
Cause all we are is friends.

 just cause I find him hot doesn't mean I plan to run away with him.

 Lets get real here.
We have only known each other less than a week.

Wow, saying that out loud is weird, It seems like I have known him forever.
I'm sure your wondering if he knows I'm married?
The answer is yes. He does know.

We talk alot about everything.
I have kept nothing from him.
I share it all.
He is fully aware of my "situation".
I know he can totally appreciate what I am going thru.
I am the queen of asking questions.
I think it might drive him crazy.

*Note to self to chill on the question asking.

Wouldn't want to freak him out.

As I have said, He is a very interesting man.
and well hell I like to talk.

I'm having fun here. Lets leave it at that.
I don't have anything I need to define with him.
It's just a frienship. Its not like with Mr. Big.

So why am I writing about Mr.Muscles today?
well ummmmmm

He was on my mind.
So I thought I would take a chance and
share my thoughts about him.

That I have actually been happy.
I have had a smile on my face.
it's a nice feeling.
So Mr. Muscles deserves
a super huge
Thank you for that.

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