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Monday, January 24, 2011

The anxious KittyCat

In the last week, I have allowed my anxiety to take over my life, a g a i n.  I say allowed cause I have the choice to allow my fears to effect me.
I wake each morning dreading all of my fears.
Things like,
  • Interacting with friends;
  • The drive into work;
  • Waiting to hear from someone;
  • Food I will or will not eat;
  • Dealing with unpleasant things;
  • My health;
Anyone who has ever experienced anxiety issues knows what I am talking about it. The fears completely take over you.
I catch my self, holding my breath like that is gonna ease my fears.
I get this pain deep in the pit of my stomach, and then I break out in a cold sweat.
None of it's good shit, and it all sucks ass.
I have not had anxiety issues in over 8 months. Until……………………………….
Well, this last week.  I know what the cause of it is. 
And have been choosing not to deal with the issue at hand.
I have had too much on my plate. I have been trying to deal with too many things that are not within my control.
I can not take any medications, there for dealing with my anxiety is somewhat of a big deal. I can’t just pop a little pill and make everything all freakin better.
It sucks.
I have to do things like mental soothing and breathing techniques to help me get through it.
Ultimately I have to deal with what is bringing on my anxiety.
Confront it head on. 
When it would be a hell of alot easier to just sweep it all under the rug.
I made a decision last night to not allow this to happen anymore.
I am going to attempt to take back control of my life, and not allow anything to affect me negatively.
It’s not easy being me.
I choose to try and make a change.

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