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Monday, May 31, 2010

The BAND of the WEEK


The Kinks were an English rock band formed in Muswell Hill, North London, by brothers Ray and Dave Davies in 1964.

Ray Davies (lead vocals, rhythm guitar) and Dave Davies (lead guitar, vocals) remained members throughout the group's 32-year run.

Kinks are recognized as one of the most important and influential rock acts of the era.

Original members Pete Quaife (bass guitar, vocals) and Mick Avory (drums and percussion) were replaced by John Dalton in 1969 and Bob Henrit in 1984, respectively.

Dalton was in turn replaced by Jim Rodford in 1978. Keyboardist Nicky Hopkins accompanied the band during studio sessions in the mid-1960s. Later, various keyboardists, including John Gosling and Ian Gibbons, were full-time members.

The Kinks had five Top 10 singles on the US Billboard chart. Nine of their albums charted in the Top 40.

The original four members of The Kinks were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

The Kinks are recognized as one of the most important and influential rock acts of the 1960s.

Studio albums
Kinks (1964)
Kinda Kinks (1965)
The Kink Kontroversy (1965)
Face to Face (1966)
Something Else by The Kinks (1967)
The Kinks Are the Village Green Preservation Society (1968)
Arthur (Or the Decline and Fall of the British Empire) (1969)
Lola Versus Powerman and the Moneygoround, Part One (1970)
Muswell Hillbillies (1971)
Everybody's in Show-Biz (1972)
Preservation Act 1 (1973)
Preservation Act 2 (1974)
Soap Opera (1975)
Schoolboys in Disgrace (1976)
Sleepwalker (1977)
Misfits (1978)
Low Budget (1979)
Give the People What They Want (1981)
State of Confusion (1983)
Word of Mouth (1984)
Think Visual (1986)
UK Jive (1989)
Phobia (1993

Friday, May 28, 2010

The "D" Word

Today, I am going to be talking about
D I V O R C E.
This ring is a symbol of what?
What the Hell!

What is it r e a l l y a symbol of? I can honestly say that having a ring does NOT define my relationship with the sportsman. It is just a piece of jewelry to me.

I won't be getting into "Vows" today. Since currently I just don't give a shit.

I have recently read some other blogs where ppl are single and looking for love/relationship. What I’m talking about here only refers to ME.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t go out and find someone. I’m just thinking this whole permanent relationship thing might not be for ME.

So I have been thinking about this/my future for some time now. Divorcing my sportsman. This is a very difficult subject for me to write about.  Although for the most part I put it ALL out there when I write.

My reasons for considering this has nothing to do with any outside influence. It’s all about the Sportsman.

These reasons are not the typical ones that people would normally get divorced for. They are not because of infidelity, money, and/or lying. I suppose that could be seen as a positive thing and that it should have some bearing on my decision.

I have even done a freakin list of good vs bad. I have seriously tried to be reasonable in my thoughts.
But some things just fucking piss me off.

So here is the list of what has bothered me enough to even consider getting a divorce.

1. He has a cell phone, but he never fucking turns it on, or carries it with him.
This is a problem why? Hello I have a health condition; I need to be able to get a hold of him at all times. Just so you know I never call him. but the few times I do need to get ahold of him he doesn't freakin answer.

2. He refuses to go to the doctor for his snoring.
While this is # 1 a health issue that he refuses to seek treatment for, but #2 it also in my opinion has caused a gap between us in our relationship since we do not sleep in the same bed.

3. He needs to loose weight.
 Also another health issue. I don’t get it how men can go to the gym all the time and still be thick(pot belly) in the middle? What the heck!

I know your thinking that seems petty, but its not. Its about his fucking health. 

4. He has this tone in his voice that he uses with me, like no matter what I want to discuss I am totally annoying him.

5. He is a very passive/mellow man, so that means I have to be the “man” of the family 90% of the time. Who the hell has the time. To do it all.

So I know your probably thinking that these are pretty fucking lame excuses.

In my defense............................

How many times can you discuss something and not see a change and be ok with it?
5 times? 15 times? 100 times?
I have talked to him about every single one of these, and if he had made any attempt to rectify them I might not be considering this.

I want my man to step up, in times when necessary. Why is it that men have the balls but never seem to use them? (my opinion is not just based on the sportsmans behavior). I'm thinking I have bigger balls than most men I know.
What the fuck???

I am not here to bash the sportsman, or men in general. But………………………Until I change my mind I currently see them (MEN) good for only one thing and that is to fuck.

I get it that not all men are like this, but I can say that most of the men I have come in contact with are.

Roles reversal? Maybe

I am beginning to wonder If I am just one of those ppl who doesn’t belong in a relationship. I am after all a free spirit.

It’s no big secret I have been married two times before. Both only made it to 5 years. This time around I have been with the sportsman 12 years. We have been married 9 of those years.

I feel as if life is sooooo short and even shorter for some. So why should I stay in a relationship where It’s obvious I am not happy. Is it even possible for me to be happy? Maybe I have a mental illness and I should be locked up? Maybe I just belong a l o n e?
Maybe I just keep settling.

I suppose this is

To be continued……………

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Veggies are for what?

I try really hard to eat right. My family buys a lot of shit at the freakin health food store, which by the way if you don’t already know. That shit is expensive. No wonder the U.S. has such a problem with ppl being over weight.

 Who the hell can afford to eat good. Seriously.

Anyways, did you know that there is also all kinds of organic hair, body, face, lips, and even baby care shit out there? I had no freakin idea.

So recently, while I was out “blowing money” as the sportsman likes to put it. I was about to buy a bottle of a $17 dollar something, and my daughter says “hey lets check out the organic stuff”. I was all “WHAT organic stuff”? So she opened my eyes to all kinds of new stuff.

In case your not aware of what organic means, here is the definition.

1. Organic: foods that are made in a way that limits or excludes the use of synthetic materials during production. The use of conventional non-organic pesticides. It means animals that are antibiotics and growth hormone free.
2. developing naturally: occurring or developing gradually and naturally, without being forced or contrived.

In the end I put back the $17 dollar bottle of shampoo and picked up the "Say Yes to Carrots" shampoo. Which also was cheaper.

There are several other different organic brands out there. I just happen to really like the “Say Yes” line.

Which is kinda funny since I rarely say "Yes" to anything except SEX. ha ha ha

"Say Yes", has Organic Carrot, Organic Sweet Potato, and Organic Pumpkin in it. YUMMY!

Now they also have shampoos and conditioners that have tomatoes in them for volumizing and cucumbers that are for color treated hair.

All of the shampoos in the “Say Yes” line are paraben free and SLS Free.

I have been using it for awhile now and I think it is just AWESOME. Oh, and did I say it smells great too? Well it does.

So I decided that I should share this information with YOU.

The best part is these products are not expensive.

I promise you won’t ever hear me pimp out any product unless I love it or am personally using it.

So if you’re looking for something new or are thinking of trying out some organic stuff. You should totally check out Say Yes to Carrots.

 if you know of some other brand or products that are organic,
please share the l o v e.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

You put what on your leg??????

If you remember not too long ago I talked about my moms cat, and how she had to shave it , they call it a "Lion" cut(to put this slimy medication on) cause it had ringworm. Go HERE If you need a refresher OR to see the freakin funny ass photo of her c a t.

In case you are not aware of what ring worm is, I will give you a little bit of 411.

Ringworm: a fungal disease of the skin, scalp, or nails in which intensely itchy ring-shaped patches develop.

Sounds yummy right.

So anyways, to back things up a bit. My mom had ringworm on her leg. That is how she found out the cat had it. Also cause there were huge chunks of the cats fur and skin falling off. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww

Now my mom has had it (the ringworm) since Jan, yes folks that is 5months. She went to the doctor and has been putting ointment on it. However that shit wasnt working, so she went back to the doctor a 2nd time, and they gave her a new script. That she did NOT get filled, why you ask? Cause it was like $60 and she refused to pay that much for ointment.

Might I also add that the cats ringworm has already cleared up.

Sooooooooo I am at her house this last weekend and she makes me swear I won’t tell my sister, but…………………….

She has been using the cat’s ointment for HER ringworm that she has on her leg. WTF??? Seriously.

After I quit laughing my ass off, I reminded her that if the tube says for dogs, cats, and horses then she probably should not be using it.

In her defense, it is finally clearing up her ring worm and I haven’t noticed any weird mental things going on with her, so she must be ok.

However, one never knows about lasting effects of using an animals medication.

(Other than the week before when we were all over at my moms house, she offered my nephew some sun flower seeds, my sister says "um I didnt see any in the kitchen where did you get those"? My mother replied, the bird seed bag.)

So should I be concerned? or is this an age thing to be a little quirky?

Let me add that while she has had the ringworm, I have not used the toilet at her house. Is that wrong? Does it make me a super germ freak? Of course.

But what the hell. I am not taking any chances on getting ringworm on my leg or vagina.

AS you can tell its freakin damn hard to get rid of.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Kickass BAND of the Week

Drowning Pool
I chose this band kickass bad, since I have been listening to them well forever but really alot since Rock Fest.
I love their newest song, "Feel Like I Do".

It goes something like this , "The love, the hate, regret, we all have it. Hey,  Hey. We all have it.  Raise your hands if you feel like I do, Scream it loud if you feel like I do.
Scream it loud, Like you do, like I do, Like we all do."

Doesn't that just get you all pumped up. WTF!
I don't see how this song wouldn't get everyone all fired up for a lame ass Monday morning at work.

Drowning Pool
is a four-piece heavy metal band that was formed in 1996 in Dallas, Texas.

They are currently signed to Eleven Seven Music and have released four albums, their most recent being their self titled album, Drowning Pool, which was released on April 27, 2010.

Each of their first three albums has featured a different lead singer. After original lead singer Dave Williams died, Jason Jones took over for their second album, Desensitized. When he left the band for personal reasons, he was replaced by former Soil lead singer Ryan McCombs for Full Circle.

McCombs then returned to sing on their fourth album Drowning Pool. The band played in Crüe Fest 2: The White Trash Circus in the Summer of 2009.

Drowning Pool rose to fame while playing along with Ozzy Osbourne during an Ozzfest tour. Their 2001 debut album, Sinner, was certified platinum within six months, and the video for its first single "Bodies" was widely aired on various music video channels.

After the September 11th attacks, radio stations pulled "Bodies" because there were concerns regarding its content in light of the 9/11 victims who had jumped from the towers.

On August 14, 2002, the band's lead singer Dave Williams was found dead inside his tour bus,  he suffered from a form of heart disease.


Ryan McCombs - vocals
C.J. Pierce - guitar, backing vocals
Stevie Benton - bass guitar, backing vocals
Mike Luce - drums, percussion, backing vocals

Former members
Dave Williams: vocals (1999−2002)
Jason Jones: vocals (2003−2005)


Sinner (2001)
Desensitized (2004)
Full Circle (2007)
Drowning Pool (2010

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Whats in a NAME

I got to thinking the other day, about how no one really knows why I picked my blog name. Maybe you don’t really give a shit.

 Also I don’t think I ever really explained why I call my husband the “Sportsman”. So it made me think about some of the blogs I read and how or why you came up with your blog names.

I know that most of us use fake names for our children and our spouses, but I always wonder why some ppl chose certain names.

So this is me being nosey. I wanna know.
Why you chose the name that you did. I find it very interesting. I can only assume that the name that you chose describes you as a person or your life.

I may be completely freakin wrong, but that doesn’t make me any less curious.

So here is why I chose “SoccerMom08”, I am in deed a soccermom. If you need the definition as to what exactly that is, you can go HERE where I have explained in one of my oringials posts.

So, my son plays soccer and his # is 8. He has had that # since he was four years old. It is his lucky #. Why he chose that # all those years ago, I don’t know. I mean come on he was freakin 4 years old. What do you know at 4?

As of recent I have become a little concerned about what I will do when my sons graduates, cause then technically I won’t be a “soccermom” anymore. (unless he goes on to play at college)So does this mean that I should change my blog name? or should I leave it the same.

Now for why I call my husband the “Sportsman” it’s no secret that he is obsessed with sports. Watching, listening and playing. Any and all sports. Sorry nothing interesting behind that one.

AS for my pets, well hell those really are their names.

Moog (the chihuahua) was named after the guitar amplifier "moog".
Maile (the chihuahua) is named after the samoan word for dog.
Rufus (the wiener) well hell I’m not really sure where we got his name. I think it just stands for aka “Fat Ass”.

So, come on please share with me
and well
how you came up with your name.

Curious minds want to freakin know.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh YES

Yes, was a nearly impossible difficult hard word to come up with something to write about.
As a NORM, I very rarely e v e r  say YES.

I am however the queen of the fucking word “Maybe”. Which hello, is aka for NO!
Just ask anyone who knows me.

Except, I always say YES to sex with the “Sportsman”. What the hell, who wouldn’t say yes to that????

So here we go.

One way that the word YES comes into play for me.

In my opinion, YES is a very powerful word. I believe it should be used very carefully. One should not just throw the word "Yes” around willie nillie.

I’ll give you a little insight about me. I have this big thing about whom I choose to be friends with. I am very freaky picky. (It has nothing to do with how your friends reflect what kind of person you are)

It is no secret that I don’t trust just anyone. I am SUPER big on loyalty.

So heres whats important to me, in a my world.

First, I am all about the type of friends that don’t judge me. Since I am not perfect.

Second it’s all about the kinda of friends that are always there for me. No matter what kind of shit I get into. You know the kind of friends that will drop everything just to come to your rescue cause you really, really need them. These same friends will never repeat what they saw.

Now, I have a handful of these kind of people in my life. This is partly my fault, I  just don’t trust.

I am not flippin paranoid or anything. I just have had too many people shit on me in the past. So this makes me just a little bit skittish when it comes to trusting.

What I’m trying to spit out is, I want to say thank you to those few kick ass friends I have.

Thanks for accepting me and all my weird, kinky, and strange shit.

So I say YES
my most awesome friends!

Monday, May 17, 2010

Where One Road Ends Another Begins

This last week with all the posts from the Momalom challenge, I have come to realize a few things.
The challenge was to write about 5 words. Your posts were put out there for everyone to read.

One of the words was “Happiness”. Realizing that in general I always write stuff that is just a little outside the box. It was no surprise that my post was a lot different than everyone elses. The other posts I read made me somewhat sad.

Sad because they all wrote about things that made them happy in their life. While I wrote about happiness I thought I had, that was quickly sliping away.

Their posts made me realize many things. Things about myself and about others. Things that maybe I had been shoving way back there in the back of my fucking head, what the hell obviously I didn’t want to deal with them.

So , 1st off I came to realize that I have many awesome great fantastic kickass honest caring virtual friends out there.

I want to thank every one of them for all the great heart felt comments.


2nd I’m really not a very happy person. I am for show.(meaning I pretend to be happy in the presence of others. FYI, I’m pretty sure that is NOT the same as being fake). I just chose to sheild my family from the needles worry and/or stress.

For someone who has everything, great husband, great kids, great family, great job, great car, great house, great dog(you know I would never leave out mentioning my little chihuahua), and the list goes on and on. I wasn’t living life like someone who had nothing but good in her life.

Yes, I have had some speed bumps in life, but nothing horrific.

While I am no pesimist. I certainly wasn’t behaving like someone who exuberated peace and happiness.

In reading, all of these other posts, it made me really think.

Let me tell you, reading all these other posts was way cheaper than going to a freakin counsolor.

So I guess I really owe “Momalom” a big thanks. For having a part in the new “ME”.

In my future I want more peace in my life, more contentment, and lots more smiles.

So look out everyone for a new and improved better ME!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Band of the Week - My personal Pick


Five Finger Death Punch is an American heavy metal band from Los Angeles, California, formed in 2005.

Ivan Moody (vocals)
Zoltan Bathory (guitars)
Jason Hook (guitars)
Matt Snell (bass)
Jeremy Spencer (drums)

The storey behind the name, the band was named "Five Finger Death Punch" as a nod to classic Kung-Fu Cinema.

The Way of the Fist” was released charting into the Billboard 200 on its first week of release, and reaching the #1 position on Billboard's New Artist/Heatseekers chart. Their debut single "The Bleeding", went top ten against all odds and received radio airplay for eight months. The video for the song was voted one of MTV2's Headbangers Ball Top 5 Metal Videos of 2008.

2007: The Way of the Fist
2009: War Is the Answer

Title & Awards

2008 MTV's Headbangers Ball- Top 5 Videos
2009 Metal Hammer Golden God Awards-Best New Band
2009 Kerrang! Awards-Best International Newcomer
FMQB’s 2009 year-end Metal poll-Most Promising Artist
AOL's 2009 top Rock Song poll-Best Rock Songs of 2009
AOL Metal poll-Top 10 Metal Songs of 2009
Guitar Edge Best of 2009 Top 10 guitar Riffs Of 2009-
2010 Metal Hammer Golden God Awards
Best Breakthrough Band
Five Finger Death Punch will be hosting an episode of Headbangers Ball on Monday May 17, 2010 on MTV2

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Chips, Dips, and Whips

XXX- Lust

So I had this blow your mind dream the other night. Now this was no ordinary dream. Would you be surprised to know that it was a very sexual one? Of course you wouldn’t.

This dream was so intense. Almost like I was really there, if you know what I mean.
Wink Wink
As a norm I don’t dream much or at least I don’t remember what I dreamed. However, this time I did and let me just say it was soooo worth remembering.

So here I am with these two guys. (I know, can you freakin believe it 2 guys) I have never been in a three some before .

Not a huge surprise that these two hot looking guys are from my past .(HS) What the hell is up with that??? my past keeps creeping up on me.

So here we were just sitting back all of us nude and we were smoking some weed. Of course in this dream I have my kick ass H.S. body, not my current 40 something body.

Always gotta love those kinds of dreams. That is why it’s called a dream right. I can have anything my heart desires. Like being a rock star in bed or like having two men lusting over me.

I won’t give you details, since it would have a rating of XXX. Some things are better left to my own little private memory.

Now, I now what your thinking how can I be unfaithful and have a dream about other men when I have my hot sportsman.

Well I’m not sure, but I think that our recent issues/problems/fights has caused me to question my sexual attractiveness. I am after all 5 years older than my sportsman.

So I think it's only normal that I am having dreams where someone, well two someone’s are really into ME.

Who doesn’t need an ego boost now and again? I think most moms at some point like to feel like they still got “IT”. Not that any would actually act on it. It’s just nice to feel sexy once in awhile.

So have you ever lusted after someone? Someone you knew or someone completely unobtainable?

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Twins Swallow Upper Back Girls with Tattoo girls

Dragon Line For Girl with Tattoo Girls

Voodoo Heart of Tattoo Girls

Quirky Things About ME

These are the things that make me, ME.

1. I don’t like sharing my tweezers;

2. I will only eat a banana if it is cut up;

3. I love to go f a s t;

4. I hate when ppl drive just a little too far past the drive thru window; HELLO Sportsman!!!!

5. I eat cearl every night at 9pm cause I’m convienced that it will make me feel better;

6. I’m obsessed with shaving my legs everyday; I like things to be SMOOTH.

7. I don’t really like chocolate, but I will eat DARK chocolate; I know I’m strange.

8. I LOVE peanut butter anything;

9. While I love to run around naked, I don't really like for ppl to see me naked;

10. My favorite part on a man is his lips (you thought I was gonna say wiener, didn’t you);

11. My favorite secret sexual fantasy used to be, to have sex in the top of a barn. Now I just find it creepy and definitely dirty; and not the good kind of dirty.

12. I HATE Excuses;

13. I will never willingly let someone pee on me;

Now you know
just a little bit more
about what makes
 so freakin weird.

Keep on Running

My son and my sportsman participate in a lot of runs during the year.
I have mentioned before that my son runs every day when he isn’t at soccer practice. (weather permitting, of course)

I spend a shitload of money on running shoes (for my kid). Did you know that there is a time limit on your shoes? I can’t remember how many miles, but your suppose to get new pair after you have put so many miles on them. Does anyone know specifics on this?

So my son likes to run. I think thats an awesome thing. I know that when I am out exercising I feel an amazing sense of being f r e e.

There is nothing like being outside and breathing in the fresh air and feeling the sun shine down on your face. (I guess you probably shouldn’t be looking up while running, kinda dangerous)

Well it’s that time again for both of them to start participating in this summers 5k’s.

Now neither one of them run to win. Seems silly, No? I know that my son personally runs just to better his time. That is his own personal achievement.

You may also be wondering why with all my gym time that don’t I participate in any of these runs? Well let me just tell you.

My biggest reason is I like to be at the end of the race, close to that last corner so I can cheer my guys on. There is no better feeling (well there is but in a different arena) than seeing your child giving it his all to make it to the finish line. The fact alone that he wants to participate in these types of things gives me great joy.

I think it is so important for them to have someone there yelling encouraging words on that final lap, when they feel like they are dying and are thinking they just might not make it to the end.

There is no other place I would rather be than at the end when my son crosses that finish line.

When I die, I want this to be one of my sons memories, of how much I love him and how proud I am.

Thats what its all about.

Plus, I am too slow and I don’t want everyone waiting around at the end for the “slow lady” to make it across the finish line so they can get their times.

It’s all good.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

That Ain't No damn Doggie Door

So you have heard me talk about “Moog” before, if you don’t remember what a freakin mess this dog is you should go HERE.

Reminder this is my daughters dog, that I have let stay with me, while she is living back home.

As a routine, Moog is locked up in a kennel during the day. (If you wonder why, go HERE and it says it all )

While Rufus(the wiener) and Maile(the Chihuahua) are allowed to be out all day.

Now Maile is the best dog ever. She is such a princess, she never leaves my bed during the day, until I walk thru the door. Did I say that I dress her up in outfits? She is such a beautiful dog. Then there is Rufus, what can I say. He is total fat ass wiener and he just sleeps all day on the back of the sofa.
No worries there.

Anyways, every day when I get home I let Moog out of her kennel, and then I let both Rufus and Moog outside in the fenced in yard. Maile is too small to be out at the same time with the other two idiots. So I just carry her around with me.

I have been trying to talk the sportsman into letting me get a front baby dog carrier for her so I can take her out when I run with the other two dogs. but He says NO!

So once I let the two dip shits out, I normally head to the bedroom to strip out of my work clothes.

As I am walking down the hall butt ass naked here comes Moog. WTF? I know I put this dumb ass dog out, what is she doing inside?

Let me just take you back for a moment here, recently moog has torn a small hole in our screen door. The way this dog digs at the door you would think that she was digging a hole to China. WTF? So she has torn a small hole in the screen, in which my lovely not so handy sportsman has white trashed it up by putting some awesome duct tape over the freakin hole. Did I say it was a kick ass color black? Who knew they make all different colors of duct tape. So now it looks so kick ass. I bet your all jealous that your man isn't as handy as the sportsman.

So let me tell you how it is that this POS dog made it back inside. She made the hole bigger and is now using it as her own personal fucking doggie door.

Now if this gigantic fucking hole isn’t enough of a reason for the sportsman to go get the screen fixed for real, then I don’t know what it will take.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Mystery Man From My Past-The Final Chapter

Not too long ago I shared with you about a guy from my past (HS). Go  HERE if you need a refresher.

So I know previously I left all of you hanging out there. I left off where I contacted this guy on FB and it was determined that Yes, the "Guy" did remember me. Surprise- Surprise.

We also met one night for a beer.(that was it) 
No, it was not just the two of us. No I didn’t stay a long time. No I didn’t get drunk and do wild things. No, my sportsman did not come along. (that would have been a freakin disaster)Not that anything happened but the sportsman is a little insecure.

So now I would love to tell all of you that I had the answers to all my “what if’s” (like his penis size) since you know that was like the No. 1 most important question I had on my list of wonders.

Just teasing.

I still do not know. I did find out some other things, that weren’t on my list, but I can’t share them with you. Sorry.

I can say that the last several weeks have been very interesting.

Wink ,Wink.

So we have been talking and emailing over the last few weeks. While I have found out that we have like a million things in common.

One of those being that we both have health issues. So we can totally sympathize/relate with one another.

I also found out that he is very happily married and a devoted father of 2. Did I mention that his wife also went to our H.S., so I know his wife as well. Small world. No?

Yes, while I know it’s disappointing to everyone (I mean me) that he will not be secretly lusting after me since we are both married. There will also be no spring fling happenin. (sorry to disappoint some of you. Um, HELLO-remember I am married).

Would things have been different if we were both single? Hmmmmmmm, I just don’t know. That is the fucking million dollar question of the day.

I just know that the Sportsman would not be too down with me hooking up with another man. Unless it was a threesome.
No, not really just teasing again.
I have however come to find a connection with this "GUY". Like maybe, we were brought into each others lives for a reason. What the hell that reason is I do not know. Im still trying to put the pieces together on that one.
Maybe I should just leave it alone? What do you think?

What I have come to find is, I really didn’t know didley  jackshit next to nothing  hardly anything about him like I thought I knew.

Since before I was just going off of a fucking “feeling” I had 20+ years ago. So that probably just makes me a dumbass.

What I got out of all of this , was it made me realize that I should be focusing more on my own husband and not so much on a guy from my past. Its not like I was expecting anything. Just wanted to get some questions answered.

You would have thought that I had learned my lesson a 100 times over about opening my heart/feelings up to anyone. I know I have trust issues, but I have them for a fucking reason.

I know, what the hell was I thinking.
That's what I get for digging up the past.

Nothing but BAD.