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Wednesday, February 10, 2010


So I’m driving along in my car on my way home, listening to my favorite music. The songs that make me feel happy, sad, and flirty.

I am letting my mind wander to the day’s events. How many times I was tempted/enticed/seduced during the day
I don’t mean being tempted by a nice package of powered donuts either.

the act of tempting; enticement or allurement
something that tempts, entices, or allures
the fact or state of being tempted, esp. to evil

How do you know you have a problem? This might be a hint. You are showering and getting ready for the day and you think maybe you should shave your legs just in case you “might” hook up with someone for a nooner? And that someone is not your significant other. You might have a moral dilemma.

If there is any question on the guidelines here just pull out the bible. The only problem is it tells you what is right and wrong but not how to fix it. So here is where I struggle. Is everything in life so cut and dry?

So I’m driving and thinking about the good, the bad, and the sinner in me. Why is it sooooooo hard to be good, all the time? Shouldn’t I want to be good? Which then makes me think about why these things happen. I know I am not the only one out there that has cheated, been a flirt, or been enticed. I also know its all in how you handle these temptations. I’m not an idiot.

Just knowing these things does not make it any easier. I’m not bragging, its just a fact that I have at least 3 guys on a regular basis who proposition me. Sure it makes me feel good about myself. I am over 40 now after all. I’m just saying it makes things that much harder. Hello, yes I tell them all NO. It’s not like I seek them out.

I would love to tell you that I have a handle on all of this, but that would be a lie. I have written previously about cheating/cheaters before. I’m not really talking about cheating so to speak; it’s more about being tempted. How many people that are sexually tempted actually act on it? Just because you’re tempted doesn’t mean everyone acts on it. However, would you be shocked/surprised/appalled to know there is a lot of people who do act on their temptations?

I go to church every Sunday, I read the bible, I know the difference between right and wrong. So what is my freakin problem? I have a loving husband. I have a great life, a wonderful family. So why would I even take a second look/thought in some other mans direction? I do not know. I’m defective obviously.

Am I secretly trying to destroy the good thing that I have? Cause anyone in there right mind wouldn’t have these thoughts right? I know there is a difference between checking out a guy or seeing a guy in a movie/magazine and saying “Wow he’s HOT”. It’s when you have the lingering thoughts about someone who isn’t your significant other that is the real problem.

This is a serious and real problem for me. I don’t make up excuses; I’m just trying to get a grip on this reoccurring unfortunate situation.

A friend/acquaintance of mine once told me that there is a word for people who have problems like these and they are called sexaholics (he shared this with me, cause he has first hand knowledge). Some how I don’t think that is what my real problem/issue is here.

I’m hoping just the fact that I recognize there is a problem, is a step in the right direction.
However, I am always open for advice or suggestions.

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