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Friday, January 22, 2010

Lady Parts

So I’m at the gym today. The one at my place of work. . Getting on my fitness. Normally, there aren’t too many ppl in there when I go. I try to beat the “lunch hour” rush. I have a friend/work out partner that goes with me sometimes.

The other reason I like to go earlier is I have the gym all mostly to myself. So I can get all the liftin and such I want in and not get interrupted.

I also prefer not to have ppl watch me. I know who do I think I am! That I think anyone would want to check me out. I’m not saying anyone would want to check me out.

I’m just self conscious is all about how I look. I’m not over weight, but I am certainly not the most fit person in the gym either. I am just average. Well as average as one 40 year old with two kids can be. I have been going to the gym for the last 8 years and for the most part always I go 6-7 days a week. Heavy sigh!

I know that when I met my sportsman, (who is 5 years younger than me) he never complained about my body. So why the need to bust my ass constantly? Hello, I just said he was freakin 5 years younger than me. What other reason is there?

Anyways, back to where I was really going with all this. A new girl came in the gym today. I have seen her before. My normal work out partner knows her. So I know she is my age and has older kids. She is in pretty good shape for someone her age.

First off I am no perv, but you would have to be blind to not notice her. She does dress a little younger than her age, but not in a trashy kinda way.

So I’m on the treadmill and she comes in and gets on the treadmill next to me and starts to run. Which stresses me out. Why? I don’t know. WTF! It might be part of my overly competitive nature. Now I feel like I should be running, but I am not much of a runner. I am a good , no fantastic kick ass race walker though. So I up my speed just a little. We don’t need any injuries today, from me falling off the damn thing. I try not to look over to see what she has the incline on or her speed at, without looking like I am looking. I have completely forgotten the TV was on at this point. I’m even talking to myself in my head. I try to focus on my music on my ipod.

Then two young 20 something guys come in. Here is my new name for these two guys. The twerps! Cause they piss me off. I‘ll save that for another day.

So now I feel even more pressured to look good while I am working out and sweating my ass off. Is that even freakin possible??? So after my 15 minutes are up I get off and move to the stationary bike, at least now I am not standing right next to this girl. Who needs that right. Not me.

So I am on the bike for 30 min listening to my music, chilling out a bit, but still freakin sweating up a storm. No way around not showering today.

Let me point out that I was in the gym for 45 minuets. The other girl that came in ran for 20 and then headed for the showers.

I was hoping to get done with the bike and get in the shower before her. So now I am secretly swearing to myself. Cause this means we will both be in there showering at the same time. I’m sure if I was a man writing this, I would definitely throw in some porno type music at this point.

So let me just say that I don’t have a problem with being naked or seeing other people naked. Not long ago I was very proud of my body. (ok, so it was in 1990) So I don’t know why I am being so weird about this today. Maybe its cause of the recent “bald eagle” incident? Also during this time another girl has come in and is headed into the locker room.

So now I look at my time and have decided that I need to hold on a few more minuets. So that the first girl is in the shower and the 2nd is headed out.

Let me just say now I know why my work out partner is so bothered by being naked and talking to someone while in the locker room. It has never been a problem for me, maybe because I feel comfortable around her. So I get in the shower, quickly like the speed of light and I shower off. As I am coming out of the shower a new girl comes in.

At this point I am stressing so much I think I now have the beginnings of a headache. UGH. Is there a way to dry off and sit down without showing off all your goods? Let me answer that question. The answer is, no freakin way!

OMG, So here I am trying to dry off, get dressed, and hold my towel at the same time. As both girls feel the need to talk to me and not just talk but make eye contact. Do I come off as such a social butterfly that everyone feels compelled to talk to me while I am naked?

Finally, it is just the first girl and I and I’m almost dressed now, yes she has been in there the whole time. Either she doesn’t have good time management or she isn’t in any rush to get back to work. So I’m turning to go and she drops her towel (yes, she has not been dressed this whole time). I find myself staring at her boobs. I can’t help it. She is my age and I’m curious. Hello, ppl she did just drop her towel right in front of me.

So here I am, its way past gym time and I am still thinking about this girls boobs. I even commented on them to my regular gym partner. No, I am not into chicks. I am just sad that we are both the same age and both have kids the same age and her boobs are better than mine.

I’m thinking maybe I need a boob job.

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